- last week I complained to bf about being tired from studying + working at same time and he told me to suck it up (in a nice way). LOL. that made me felt better actually. because we'll reap what we sow and nobody owes us anything except for ourselves. We owe ourselves a good life that we must work hard for. I'm learning more and more everyday. About the value of money. About managing my time, studies...
- Pms-ing like crazy now. I cried yesterday night and watched 2 episodes of Pan-Am and 1 episode of gossip girl and went to sleep and was better when I woke up.
- Met bf during his break just now. He's so cute in his uniform. I just love seeing him because he's very cute and I don't have to look out for cars when I'm crossing the road because he'll look out for me, I don't have to look for the drinks auntie because he'll ask me what I'll have, I feel happy and safe with him. Plus he buys 8 days for me every single week without fail. And he has nice hands.
-But even with all these reasons above I still can't explain why I love. If you take any of it away I still do. Except that when the person you love is nice to you, it makes it easier to love. And love grows. If he's a jerk, it makes it easier to leave him but you can't take away the love until its gone. So don't ask someone "why do you love your bf/gf/husband/wife". If they do give you reasons it might not be love. But even if it's not love but they are happy with what each has to offer, who are we to judge.
And don't ask "why are you still with him when he's such an asshole?".
Love is such a blind silly thing.
Oh and I'm no expert in love. I'm "only 20". Maybe all of this turns out to be shit and I become all crazy and die of loneliness next time.
- imho, I think relationships fail when 2 no longer has a common dream. Or no longer sees each other's vision. For now Cc and I have dreams. Chatted over Bak chor mee just now and we fantasized about our own shophouse where he has his restaurant downstairs and with a beautiful living space upstairs. Totally something I want! It might not happen next time but it's good to dream and at that very moment, what we shared was special.
- I miss my grandmother. I'm scared I'll forget her next time. It's been 5 years. I wish she can see my cousin's daughter (her first great grandchild). She'll be so happy. She's the best grandma one could have and I really really mean it. I hope I'll see her in heaven or something. Or have her be my ah ma again.
- watching the 7pm kampong drama show and suddenly realized that the guy acting the tiny part of the policeman in today's episode is also the guy who played "Ah Tan" in the movie 2359. He's Malaysian.
- yesterday I went to watch the movie "Drive" with Kate and Eileen. It was SO GOOD. some people might find the pace slow but I really really liked it. Great cinematography, retro-ish music that I love that sounds like a mixture of Stars + The XX. I didn't expect Carey Mulligan to be able to pull off being a mom. But she did it. Her character was a young mom anyway so it was alright. Ryan Gosling was cute in a erm, retarded way. He smiles a lot and speaks little but it was cute all the same. You should go watch it! Oh, it's m18 because of some violence + gore. Like, there's this scene where this girl Blanche got her head blown off and you can see all the blood and stuffs.
- My sis is turning 18 end of this month. I don't know what to get her. :/ I AM TURNING 21 IN JANUARY Wahahaha. No plans though. I don't really do birthdays save for a meal with the family. That's fine by me actually.
Ok I think I'm done ranting. Gonna go watch tv. Bye.
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