Angst

Incoherent thoughts ramblings ahead:


Every single person is asking me how do I plan to celebrate my 21st and seriously right now I can't be fucked man. Wanna get friends to eat at my house and CC will cook but my mom kp coz she don't like the idea of our house getting dirty (the parents will be overseas at that time.) sigh wtf. Not like I'm having a party or what, just a dinner la but my mom is OCD. Aiya anything la. Actually i wanted a BBQ but that is out. Planned for a bbq during 15th jan as an early celebration because the following Sunday 22nd is reunion dinner day and 29th is my bday already. It'll be 7th day of cny + a weekend so dunno ppl will be out visiting not. But anyway 15th won't work now because it's like 6 more days and how am I supposed to organize anything in a week.
Gonna be working the day before my bday and 6 days straight after my birthday, one day break, then another 6 days straight of work. Thinking of that makes me tired.
Urghhh so turned off!
Appreciate my family's good intentions la coz they keep asking me what I plan to do and mom actually suggested to book a hotel room (but that won't work because of various reasons I'm lazy to explain) but I'm just very sian. Didnt wanna make a fuss of my 21st because honestly I don't really care for birthdays.. but then again don't wanna let it pass like another ordinary day (like my previous bdays) because after all I'm turning 21 only once! Wtf I'm so contradicting.
I just want to have my close friends to gather and come eat with me and my boyfriend cooks for everyone. Ok la need to go talk to my mom about this again.

Anyway a couple of friends was asking what I'll like to have for my 21st. Honestly speaking I just want people I'm comfy with to have a meal with me and I'm thankful for these people's presence in my life. I really really can't think of anything i want but if you really wanna get me something, I wouldn't mind vouchers (LOL). or Aiya anything that you'll think I like man. As long as it's from the heart :p
even a handmade card will suffice seriously.

Come to think about it if not for my parents there won't be me, not like I have a choice in being born, but I shouldn't miss the big picture by antagonizing about my birthday. So here's a reminder to myself to be thankful to my mom and dad for giving birth to me and raising me to be all healthy and relatively normal and well adjusted. Should be having a day for dinner with just my family and I + a cake to sing happy birthday for because every single year even when I don't have a party or celebration, my parents will still buy me a cake. so.. Okay. Everything see how la.

//rants over